Beetcafe.com
rockford illinois entertainment guide
Date: 05/16/2003
Dear Sarah
by Gregory C. Johnson
gregor@beetcafe.com
July 14,1861
Camp Clark, Washington DC

Dear Sarah,

The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. And lest I should not be able to write you again I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I am no more.

I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the government and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this government, and to pay that debt.

Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but omnipotence can break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly with all those chains to the battlefield. The memory of all the blissful moments I have enjoyed with you come crowding over me, and I feel most deeply grateful to God and you, that I have enjoyed them for so long. And how hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes and future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and see our boys grown up to honorable manhood around us.

If I do not return, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I loved you, nor that when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name...

Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless, how foolish I have sometimes been!...

But, 0 Sarah, if the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they love, I shall always be with you, in the brightest day and in the darkest night... always, always. And when the soft breeze fans your cheek, it shall be my breath, or the cool air your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for me, for we shall meet again.

As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell our mothers I call God's blessing upon them.

O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.

Sullivan



On July 14, 1861, Rhode Island volunteer Sullivan Ballou was about to embark with the Union Army on its first maneuver. He penned this letter to his wife Sarah in the expectation he might never have another opportunity. He did not post it, lest it worry her, placing it instead in his trunk, which would eventually find its way to his home and family. Ballou died one week later at the First Battle of Bull Run.

This and other wondrous experiences were to be had at the 20th Annual Civil War Days at Midway Village and Museum Center. The event focused on the military and civilian activities of the era which gave visitors a unique insight into the lifestyle of the time. Living history demonstrations included soldiers from the 29th IL U.S. Colored Troops, confessions of a female spy, the experiences of a battlefield surgeon, how household items were made (candle dipping, soap making and spinning), and much more.

Don't miss the next living history event at the Museum, 1903 Revisited with Teddy Roosevelt, the weekend of June 21st and 22nd. Relive the 1903 Rockford visit of President Roosevelt. President Roosevelt was the first acting President to visit Rockford. During his visit to the Forest City, President Roosevelt dedicated the new Memorial Hall building which was the first such building dedicate to American veterans.
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